do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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