I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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