I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
