return my video game
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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