You work out of a Hotel?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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