just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
