In the future we'll all be gay
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
