His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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