I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize