i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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