We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
