i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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