Cold hands, warm shart.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
