Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
