Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
dude. I can hear the air.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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