Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My life is pants optional.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
