is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
