You're earring is so big in my mouth
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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