it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
