I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
