So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
