I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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