Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
