as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
