I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
