everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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