Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Of course I have a pirate flag
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
