Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
