I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
