I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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