No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize