I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
