Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
