so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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