Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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