Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
