the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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