I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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