I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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