Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
