glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
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I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
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was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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