Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I want to have your abortion
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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