I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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