Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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