I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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