i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
