I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
