last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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