i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
