I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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