fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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