i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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