Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize