Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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