I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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