and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
