hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Found the puke drawer
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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