Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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