just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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