A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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