New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
