In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
