so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
